The Catch Up…

Greetings out there….

I realized over the weekend that I’ve completely been slacking and totally forgot the initial plan for this website. There is supposed to be a blog post that coincides with each episode. Feel free to leave a comment or question as well, within this blog. With that being said, I won’t go back and type a blog post for all of the many episodes over the past two seasons that I’ve done, mostly because it will definitely not be good for my anxiety and will more than likely cause a panic attack while revisiting my first few episodes, but I will give a quick recap from the ever-changing and still healing, DQ.

RECAP:

So, over the last weekend, I remembered that this last guy I loved, he goes so far back and engrained into my past that he was the first person to try to explain to me, via the phone, how to drive. He was in college then, and I think he may have been annoyed by my question. I said something like, “How do you stay in between the lines?” And he replied something to the effect of, “You just focus on the middle.” I think that’s part of the reason why he thought I was too young for him (only a 3 year difference), but it unfortunately postponed what could have been one hell of a love story way back when I had no reservations as a young adult. It’s funny because I was a true city girl, I had no need for a car, when I had MARTA. But of course, I moved to the country so yeah, a car is much needed and I used to hear what he said when I first began driving. However, the short 11-month-romance we did have, was funny as hell, nonetheless. Although I have come to know very well that the whole situation meant more to me than it did to him for at least 9 out of those 11 months but as my therapist and I have already discussed, that doesn’t change a thang when it comes to how I feel about it. It remains, quite the story, that I’ll admit, I’m letting go of. And still, I could care less about his Tesla or other meaningless accolades, all I wanted, was him and to be honest… well I won’t go there. You’ll have to start at episode one to listen to that but I can be nothing but thankful. Life and love is all in the decisions we make. All we can do is hope for the best, even though we do not know the outcome either way.

Then after that, I online-dated around, never really focusing on anyone. Too much has been going on for me to focus on anyone, romantically. I tried to focus on “California,” actually I wouldn’t mind focusing on him, if he lets me know he is ready for the next level of whatever we’ve been doing, other than getting on each other’s nerves off and on, for three years. But he just may be too fine for his own good. I mean, I get it, being young, no kids, sex game strong, and all of that but he does not give the passion I’ve grown accustomed to. He can lay his unrefined pipe very well but the before pressure, is never building. But who knows… that may change. I mean most recently, he got so mad at me because he can’t seem to understand and I haven’t gone into too much detail but ya girl, DQ, is healing from increased anxiety, depression, and PTSD. And he would just add to the issues. He sent me the longest text he’s ever sent me, and you know it’s hard to get an Aquarius to show their feelings because they usually don’t care but the gist was, he was like, “You and I have sexed literally everywhere, now you wanna act strange.” And I was like, “Sir, why you being weird to me!” And I’m like, he has my address, if he wanted to speed up the process and relieve my nerves about him coming over, I explained to him that he should send a gift or something over, do something sweet… like that’s how you woo a woman. You can’t always just show up looking good af and think that’s enough. That’s not even a question, that’s just a fact. I loved it though, no doubt. Who doesn’t like a little attention from a man who really doesn’t have to give it? But the fact remains, that these legs are closed and have been for over a year. That’ll be discussed more in upcoming episodes.

I also had an episode entitled, “High School Was So Long Ago, Right?” I discussed how people from high school were coming out of the woodwork, I guess to see what I was up to since high school. The particular person it was though, brought back some uneasy feelings and possible feelings of embarrassment. It also brought back some feelings of different repressed emotions regarding decisions I made during high school that I briefly discuss on that episode, as well as in further detail in my book, Sitting on Laps.

I then realized that I’d totally been neglecting the motherhood portion of this podcast and had an episode discussing parenthood and the right time to become a parent, if there ever is one. Right now on TikTok and the likes, people seem to agree that the age of 35 is the absolute best time because of how established one should be at that age. The fable that we should have children in our twenties because 30 is too old, well, now we know that from age 20-29, we are still in fact, children ourselves. I believe for everyone who had children early, that’s before the age of 30, the focus is becoming and trying to be better parents and work in ways, with the hope that our children can enjoy their time and not be as worried as I know millennials have been, while still trying to grow.

Then, there was the “Glowstick.” I felt like he and I did not mesh well intellectually and I was right. I mean, I’m all about quirky jokes and what not and he would literally be like, “Huh?” That would be his response every time. I even tried to hit him with a sexy flirt about a rendezvous between us and he clearly didn’t know what the word rendezvous was. I’m not sweating him for that but it’s like, if you don’t know what the word means, you have an iPhone, hit up, Google. It’s like people who have all Apple products but still use Spotify, exclusively. I was actually considering hooking him up with one of my friends who I felt would like the attention he gives, although not much of anything else. He’s also her type, as in tall with a very light complexion. Shortly after that, he went missing for a couple weeks, and I came to find out that he was in jail for a dispute with an ex-girlfriend. That is all explained in my latest episode on Detours. But then, I realized I missed him so I was like, hold on… let me see if something is there.

So, while I think the Glowstick is a good friend, we don’t mesh well on a deeper level. Not to mention, he disrespected me, just with words. See, and I blame the fact that he doesn’t seem to comprehend jokes well. So, he was joking with me and voice-texting that I wasn’t responding fast enough and that we were gonna fight when he saw me. And I joked back and I told him that he didn’t want these Atlanta hands. Well then, he sent a voice memo back and said, “We from the same area, stupid… fool.” And idk, I was raised on that’s one F-word we never call anyone. And on top of that, stupid? Well, now I’m really offended cause he called me all these names and he doesn’t know that Stone Mountain, is not Atlanta. But he also didn’t know that earlier that week, with the help of a TikTok bestie, I’d decided that when someone disrespected me or moved weird the first time, only the first time, I would let them go. Although I did give him a chance to apologize and explained to him how that exchange was disrespectful, an apology did not come but an urge to move past it did, which I was not keen to. That’ll be discussed on an upcoming episode.

For the most part, that is the catch-up. I’ll be adding a blog post with each new episode.

Stay tuned,

-DQ