No Longer an Option

Song: Spotless Mind> Jhené Aiko

Line: “Shame on me for changing; shame on you for staying the same.”

Y’all know what I think— I think men who have decided to stay stagnant for so long are realizing that they are running out of options. The women they either disregarded or dogged-out are no longer waiting in the wings for them to return. Women’s empowerment has taken form and has been seen right in our faces, thanks to social media. 

For me, depending on the relationship determines when and if the person should try to come back. I briefly talked to a dude over three years ago— we never met up in person. I was able to quickly see that he was clearly not emotionally done with his ex and I told him such. Although he denied it initially, he later agreed and we both agreed that he should try to work that out. I think he’s one of the reasons why I avoid men who have recently broken up with someone like a year or less breakup. 

A couple months later, he hit me up and I did not respond because nothing is worse than a confused man-boy. About a year after that, he hit me up again and I did not respond. Now, just recently, he texted me twice … and said, “Hey.” No context or introduction— I had to search the number in Cashapp to even see who it was and I couldn’t believe it. So, I did not respond. I then went on to my TikTok a couple days later and saw that he’d added me on TikTok. I can’t lie, I felt harassed. This is a person I’ve never seen outside of FaceTime and the pressure was not even cute. We had no relationship and I truly feel that it’s okay to try to hit someone up but if they don’t respond, that doesn’t mean keep going. 

Now, it’s something completely different if it’s someone you were recently with and all of that. 

I’ve come to the conclusion that the only reason someone would think to hit me up years later is because their options for other women are wearing thin. While the real option should be for him to upgrade himself and be on to new folk. Or maybe he felt like I was still an option since we never actually did anything but again, no response is not an invitation to continue.